There’s a detailed description of the male orgasm inside me, waiting to burst forth and leave your eyes sticky with gloopy adjectives and pumping verbs. But I’d like to start small and soft, and harden our relationship later with such things. Suffice it to say that it’s like a sneeze from your downstairs. But that, dear readers, is another story for another time. I’d like to begin with a curious sensation that affects somewhere in the region of 80% of men and just over 50% in women. It’s called the piss shivers, and it’s a great thing you can enjoy with yourself.
It starts as an electric tingling in your lower spine and soon spreads to your entire body, as if a frozen, stick thin Angelina Jolie were running her poisonous talons up and down the sides of your ribs. Imagine a troupe of sexy ants, all wearing shock-rings as they do intricate ghetto handshakes with every hair follicle from your knees to your shoulders.
And as you do the electrocution jig and try maintain your wee stream for all its worth, you thank your lucky stars that you can at least aim at the toilet (even if it does hit the water and make that annoying splashing sound). Because no one likes a man who wees on the floor.